Thursday, January 4, 2018

the dream I had 8 years ago in december of 2010

SPOUSE had just returned from a two-week tour straight up the middle of the country... Austin, TX to Minneapolis, MN. We had been getting lots of attention on different radio stations all along the route of our tour. [NOTE to BANDS: Radio Play DOES NOT EQUAL Concert Attendance. We learned the hard way.] It was rough. Our expenses were about three times the amount of our earnings on that tour. My head began messing with my attitude as a result. I think I was probably one of the most unpleasant people to be around in the wake of that experience. I wasn't enjoying playing shows anymore. We, collectively, were wondering why our turnout was so consistently -for lack of a better word- low. The record, Confidence, had been getting really solid reviews; it seemed like folks were digging it. Maybe I hadn't done enough press for the tour. Maybe the promoters we were working with weren't really 'promoting' the shows? Whose to say? All I know is, I finally got back to Portland and it was nice to be home.

I had been back about a week when, one morning, I found myself waking up on the couch at an apartment that I vaguely recognized. I stood up. I could see on the other side of the living room wall what was maybe a dining room, and beyond that, a view of New York City like you wouldn't believe. Apparently, the apartment belonged to me or someone close to me? What I remember was that I was in the middle of a tour. My parents were traveling with me. I could afford it; that's how well things were going. Suddenly, I'm back in the living room, from behind the wall comes my father. He and I stare at each other. He's in shock, because he's just turned the corner and come face to face with me, even though, on the other side of the wall, he had been chatting with another version of me while that version of me was making breakfast. He and I suddenly have a revelation. He can tell that I am me from a parallel universe. In his universe, he's still alive. He was never shot and killed like my father was in my universe. I start crying, he starts crying. I reach out to hug him and... I wake up. I'm in Portland, Maine. It's cold, it's early. I'm bawling. It was so real. The dream was so real.

That very day, it occurs to me that I had been transported to a parallel universe. A month later, mathematicians would announce that they had proven the theoretical existence of parallel universes. I wasn't crazy. I was inspired. Still, even weeks before the news, I began working off my experience. It changed my approach to music. I was going to focus on making music that was purely intended to satisfy me and no one else. I was going to rediscover the joy of making music. I was going to write because I wanted to write; record because I wanted to record, perform and tour because I wanted to perform and tour. It turned into something really unique. I began channeling this 'me' from a parallel universe. He would be uninhibited; an amalgamation of some key things that I love: superheroes, performance art, electronic and dance music. I would bring all of these things together and hopefully create a channel for this alternate version of myself to do his thing.

For years I had been holding the anagram of my name in my back pocket. I figured, this was the chance to use it. The first demo I recorded for this project would eventually be the opening track of the album. Here is that demo...