Tuesday, February 6, 2018

adaptación

For the first time in over two years, come this Friday, we won't have my mom living with us. Basically, since we got married, my husband and I have been caring for my mom (with the exception of a handful of weeks here and there when she's been visiting my sister and her family). Anyway, the question keeps coming up, "how do you feel?" Well, I've mostly been feeling pretty confident in the decision to send my mom to a small, reputable elderly home very close by. We'll be able to visit her a few times a week, take her out to lunch, and make sure she's getting the attention, care, and social stimulus that she needs. And to be honest, I'm looking forward to moving on to the next stage of life. It's not guilt that I feel, but a mix of relief, worry, anxiety, excitement, and nerves. When I look at it from my mom's point of view, I think she must be kind of scared, not knowing what to expect. When I look at it from an outside perspective, I know she'll be getting all the care that she needs, plus the consistency of a solid and busy routine. Will her memory continue to decline? Probably. Just as it has noticeably done these past few months. Dementia, like I've said before, is cruel.

Anyway, these days, every free moment I've had with my husband has been dominated by the same topic of conversation: my mom. I'm really tired of it. I need to remember what my life was like when she wasn't the topic of conversation at every turn. I love her, but I'm going to be of no use to my husband, or to anyone else for that matter, unless I can reconnect with who I am, what I do, who I am married to, etc. Here's hoping it can happen soon. 


Also, it seems my spouse has decided we need another puppy. I thought that by agreeing to the idea, he would maybe opt out of it, but alas, I think my reverse psychology has backfired (-shrug-). 





When Santiago's mom passed away almost five years ago, she left behind a couple of dogs. A female Poodle, believed to be unable to have puppies, and a Shih-Tzu. Somehow, they got pregnant and had five pups on Christmas Eve. The Shih-Poo is apparently a real thing. (The other name for this cross-breed is Shoodle.) I cringe at the thought of having to house-train another dog, but I'm genuinely elated that Santiago will have another pup to cheer him up when he feels extremely stressed. Fingers crossed. I think the one that we're going to end up with is the one on the far right, which I've already named Tulipán (Tulip). Yeah, I know, the name sounds kind of gay. The little guy is going to have two dads, though...